One of the speakers at the Women's retreat was speaking on our identity in Christ. In one part, she talked about our adoption into God's family when we come to Christ. She explained that in Bible days a person who was adopted was totally a part of the family, in status, inheritance, rights and privileges. Kind of like now.
While she was speaking, I thought, "My daughter is having a hard time accepting Christ because she doesn't really understand her adoption. I need to fight for her heart!"
When her birth family came into the picture, I stood back when she signed her name with her old last name. I only quietly took away the clothes with gang colors that she would wear when visiting her family. We've asked her to call and keep in touch with them, even when the family has drawn back and have started to ignore her after the initial couple of months. I explained to her that she has enough love for both families. But I don't think I got in her heart lately that she is my daughter and I won't let her go. Yes, she has a bond with the other family, but I love her so much, and I'll do my best to care for her and keep her safe. I won't ignore her after a while. I am bound to her by adoption, just as we are bound to Christ. Nothing can separate us!
I don't know how to balance fighting for her heart and letting her sort through her own identity as a teenager. It's something I'll have to really pray about and sort through myself. But I think God is doing something that is beyond my control.
During the retreat, Hubby took the kids and a couple of our friends to the beach and met with some guys from church. At the beach Mr I and Ms D had a great time. They usually hate the beach and complain about the sand, etc. But not this time! Ms D even had a corn dog! I know you think that I'm kind of strange to rejoice over a corn dog, but Ms I has been picking at her food, only eating dry salads with feta cheese and tiny bits of what we eat. She's not underweight, but she has lost weight since this spring. But do you know the best part of the day?
When the family came to where the retreat was to help clean up, Ms D came running up to me and gave me a big hug! And she kept hugging me! God certainly did something while I was gone to draw her closer. Maybe this fighting for her heart will be fun!