Holidays can be pretty disruptive for kids who are on the edge already. Of course when you add the birth family with all the memories, fears, etc., it can be even more rocky. So now that we are in the holiday/birthday season, I'm having to calm myself and try to make a calm environment for the kids. Last night, after coming home from the birth mom's house to drop her off, Mr. I was really out of it. He wouldn't let anyone touch him or make eye contact. So I had him sit next to me on the sofa until he could give me a hug and look into my eyes. We sat for quite a long time, not talking, while Hubby was playing some 15th century music softly in the background. Mr. I asked a couple of times to get up (away from us), but I told him that he could only get up if he was ready and giving me a hug was how I knew he would be ready. I didn't look at the clock, so I don't know how long we sat, but he slowly inched his way closer to me and finally gave me a little hug. Yes!
Mr. I's birthday is in a week, followed by my grandson's and my two other boys' birthdays. Then comes Christmas and New Years. Because of this, it will probably be difficult for the kids to stay regulated. Of course, they are healthier now than in the past and have learned ways to cope, but it's a lot of hard work for everyone involved. It's a good thing I've learned to be flexible with the holidays and not fret if something isn't the way I'd like it or if I can't get something done. Having kids, and especially kids with hidden special needs, is working perfectionism out of me whether I like it or not! Also making Christmas presents this year is becoming pretty good therapy for me. There's nothing like the repetitive motions of hand quilting, knitting, and crocheting to calm my racing mind.
I wish I could show what I've made so far, but that will have to wait until later. I don't want to spoil the surprise!