Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Kiddo Update

It's been over a week since the kids heard about their friends' death and injuries.  One girl is still in the hospital but the other girl is out and doing better.  I also found out that the two injured girls did live in our neighborhood, and that's why my kids knew them better than the one who died. The families want to keep things quiet for the girls and don't want a bunch of strangers or kids visiting, so we've just heard about their status from the neighborhood kid grapevine. I don't know what is really happening, and it's been difficult for our kids to hear from other kids what is going on, rather than from us.  I hope things don't get overblown or altered too much, like the game of telephone.

For our family it's been a pretty rough road, and, of course, I'm still seeing signs of stress and regression in my kids.  They've been play fighting and laughing in an odd way lately.  Ms. D hasn't been eating much, and when she did eat a full meal yesterday, it was too much for her stomach and she threw some of it up. Mr. I changes his mind about what to eat and what to do.  Like this afternoon, during our walk, Mr. I asked me what we were having for dinner.  When I told him, he didn't like what I was going to make because he said he wanted something that we hadn't had in awhile.  When I mentioned other things, they didn't sound good to him either.  I asked him if he had any ideas but he couldn't think of any.  You see, it's not about the food.  It's about the weirdness he feels inside and can't express.  He doesn't want to talk about why he's feeling so odd, which makes it harder to heal.  Hubby got the security system installed last night and Mr. I seems happy to have it.  I hope it will help him to feel safer.  I kind of wish we had put it in years ago when we first got the kids.  It would have been nice to know when they were trying to sneak out the door!

As for helping the kids through this time, I've been trying to talk to them as things come up and as they feel ready. I gave Ms. D the option of going to the funeral the other day.  I'm glad she didn't want to go though, because her brother would have been so frightened. But it was good for her to know that I would have taken her if she had wanted to go.  I'm also trying to keep things fairly calm and routine here despite the increase in their stress levels.  It's been difficult to remain peaceful when the kids are spinning out of control.  I've not been perfect, and need a lot more grace to do it, but most of the time I can keep the stress level down in my heart and in our home.  I've slowed down the activity level and the driving around. We won't visit to a nursing home Thursday with the homeschool group because there's just too much new sensory stuff for them to deal with right now. It's a good thing I have a lot of Christmas gifts to make, because otherwise I'd go bonkers with the combination of odd behaving kids and having to stay home as much as possible!

Talking about making gifts, I wish I could show you what I'm up to right now, but you'll have to wait until Christmas! :-)

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