Friday, November 4, 2011

A Snickerdoodle Kind of Day

Today is a snickerdoodle kind of day.

Yesterday did not start pretty.  It wasn't all bad.  I got to spend time with my grandson and his daddy and mommy.  It cheered me up to see them.

But the day didn't start out well.  I don't know if it was the change of weather, the post Halloween sugar crash, or just a bad response to all the excitement.  But Mr. I and Ms. D were getting more disobedient, sulky, disrespectful, and in general, nastier each day for a week.  Getting them to do schoolwork was like pushing a boulder uphill. I tried to be patient, knowing that holidays and excitement are just too much for their systems.  But yesterday I had enough.  I yelled at them.  I had a meltdown. Not good.  Not good at all.  I got the opportunity to ask their forgiveness and say that I was wrong.  Of course I don't like to model humility and weakness, but I needed to do it.  It's good for them.  It's good for me.

Mr. I immediately reconnected with me.  It was so good.  Unfortunately, Ms. D had a harder time.  She shunned me the rest of the day and into this morning.  I was afraid she was saying all sorts of nasty things to the birth family.  This scares me because they had made a false report against us years ago in an attempt to get their kids back.  Of course, I was the one with the bruises, not the kids, but the whole experience, I think, caused me to get a little PTSD!  So this morning I was thinking of taking Ms. D's ipod that she had earned away or at least changing some passwords so she couldn't text the family.  But I thought I'd talk to her before I'd do that.  At first she couldn't look at me and tears ran down her face.  But after telling her I loved her, apologized again, and admitting some of my fears, she broke down and our relationship was restored.  She almost fell asleep in my lap, but my legs were falling asleep on the floor and Mr. I was needing attention.  The typical pattern in her dysregulation cycle is stressor > buildup > overexcitement > crash > sleep > resolution.  So now our relationship is restored.  Whew!

So anyway, after she got back to her normal self, she told me she was cold.  This is actually the first cold day of the year.  For all of you in the rest of the country, Californians think a 57 degree high is cold.  Yes, we are sissies!  And I said, "I should bake some cookies." Then we both said, "Snickerdoodles!"at the same time.  Now this is pretty odd since I rarely make snickerdoodles.  My backup cookies are chocolate chip, which I've made so many times I have the recipe memorized.

So tonight, as Hubby is taking the kids to see a movie, I am baking snickerdoodles.  It is, after all, a snickerdoodle kind of day.

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