Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thanksgiving with the Birth Family

Today we had Thanksgiving Round II with the birth family. It worked out really well. I was worried before they came how the kids would handle it. Mr. I was a bit dysregulated. He didn't do anything wrong, but he was clumsy and a bit out of it this morning. Ms. D took ALL morning to get her hair, clothes, and makeup just right. Of course, I had to work pretty hard to get everything clean and cooked. I had a lot of help from the kids and Hubby, but there was still a lot to do. When Mr. I asked to go outside with his friends, I told him to ask Hubby first so that we can be on the same page. I was praying that Hubby would say yes, and he did! Later when I told him how much I wanted Mr. I out of my hair because what help Mr. I was giving me was actually making things harder for me, Hubby joked about how I wanted the kids away from me. I told him, yes, right now, I really needed Mr. I to get away from me. It's not that I don't love him, but I had too much work to deal with accidents or odd behaviors, like wanting to iron his jeans, and then after ironing, wanting me to wash his jeans. He just wasn't making sense!

The kids' birth mom, brother, and one of their cousins came. We also had all my kids and family and Black Belt daughter's boyfriend. I timed it wrong with the grandson's nap and the time the birth family was able to make it, but it actually worked out better because it was calmer for all and some of our guests who came later weren't feeling well. So now I don't have to worry about exposing my little grandson to the flu. We had lots of yummy food that I had cooked all morning.  The kids brought desserts. Pumpkin pie, apple cranberry pie, some kind of meringue cookies, pumpkin bread, brownies.  Oh, it was good! I don't think I'll have to worry about eating for a while!

After dinner, the kids and the birth mom went to the park to play or watch football with the neighborhood kids. It was good for Mr. I to show his family what he does for fun and it was good for their little boy cousin to play with some boys. I am a bit worried about the way Ms. D hangs all over her brother, but she tends to hang on people when she gets over excited. I'm also a bit concerned because their brother was wearing a lot of red gang clothes. I need wisdom.

I'm really glad that the kids are able to call both sets of parent mom and dad. In fact a couple of days ago, Ms. D was talking to her birth dad when Hubby asked to talk to him. So Ms. D said, "Dad, here's my dad." I'm glad that they have processed pretty well their place in both families. I joke with their birth mom that the kids don't have a chance, with both sets of parents holding them accountable! Of course, legally and practically Hubby and I have the responsibility to parent the kids, but their birth family will always be in the kids' hearts.

So now things are very quiet. Everyone's gone except Micro Bio Daughter. Hubby and the little kids are taking their birth mom home. I'm resting a bit before I do more dishes.  The dishwasher is still not working. However the oven worked fine, for which I am so grateful.

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