Thursday, December 15, 2011

Detective Work and Settling In

Today was a day to settle in and to do some detective work.

I was able to get some good sleep in last night which was so needed. I had enough energy to begin to do some housework, and though there is much more to do, I at least started the process. Mr. I is calming down and we were able to do a bit of schoolwork. Ms. D woke up to a few seizure like episodes and had a few small ones just before the psychiatry appointment, but even those were mild and decreasing. At least she can tell when they are going to start, so she can sit or lie down. Ms. D was also able to walk the dogs late this morning. She had a good time walking in the fresh air with a dog at the other end of the leash.

This afternoon, we went to the psychiatry appointment. Ms. D didn't want to talk to a new person. I hope she will open up to Dr. A. I think she might eventually, because Dr. A is a sweet young lady that I think Ms. D will open up to if she would give her a chance. I'm not concerned yet that Ms. D was so quiet because it takes her a bit to trust someone.  Though we can guess what is so troubling to Ms. D, eventually she will need to open up and to talk to people about how she feels. Because now it's coming out in not so helpful ways. We need to do some detective work to see what is causing the seizure like episodes and what would help Ms. D. On the way out, we saw one of our friends from our old church who works there. What a wonderful surprise!

After we got home and ate a late lunch, we got a call from one of Ms. D's biological aunts. We found out that one of her cousins and another relative also have had seizures brought on by stressful events. Ms. D's cousin started having staring spells, only to develop into full blown epilepsy after a difficult pregnancy. I'll have to let Ms. D's doctor know about this.

As we hung up the phone to the aunt, our Pastor from The Gathering by the Bay came by to talk to Ms. D and pray for her. He had just visited her brother this morning and told her that her brother was concerned for her. Our pastor also encouraged Ms. D to find someone that she could talk to. It was good for her to hear that from someone else. I don't know why she holds everything in, but I hope that soon she will be able to talk to someone about what is troubling her. At this age it is so hard for her to tell us parents, especially when she is sorting through all the adoption things. All of us need to talk to someone about our deepest things without fear. I know the times I don't have at least a few other women to talk to, the things of life get overwhelming and I get physical symptoms, migraines, asthma, cold sores, stomach problems, back aches. I still do if things are really piled on top of each other, but it isn't so bad as the times when I feel I can't talk to anyone. I hope she learns this lesson soon.

Our pastor then asked Ms. D if he could pray for her and she said YES! That is so good! I was expecting her to decline prayer, since she's done it before and had just said she didn't need prayer. But he was wise, told her everyone needs prayer, and then asked her a few minutes later. I'm so glad he didn't give up.

When our pastor left, Birth Mom called. It was so good to see Ms. D laugh while she was talking to her. I think it was good for Birth Mom to hear Ms. D's voice and to see for herself that Ms. D was better than when Birth Mom visited her a couple of days ago. Ms. D's hospitalization has been so hard on Birth Mom, especially piled on top of the housing problems and all the things going on with her sons. Hubby had told me that after the visit, Birth Mom asked to be left off at a liquor store. And today Birth Mom told Ms. D that she would go to church with her Sunday if she checked out clean for drugs and alcohol tomorrow for the program she is on in lieu of jail. But there is a chance she won't. I hope she doesn't have to go back to jail. I know she didn't follow the rules, but I know that she doesn't have the capacity to handle seeing her daughter convulsing in intensive care. There must be something better to help Birth Mom get back on her feet. I hope she finds it in a Christian community, because people need spiritual support get get through such difficult times.

While talking to her Birth Mom, Ms. D gave her bearded dragon a bath. Joking, I asked her, "Did you give him a warm towel like your warm blankets in the hospital?" And she said yes! She warmed his towel in the microwave!!! It was so sweet how she gave her "Liddo Burrito" something she enjoyed at the hospital! I love that girl!!!!

Ms. D and Spike, her liddo burrito

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