Monday, December 5, 2011

Happy Birthday, Mr. I!

Today Mr. I turned 12!


At first it was pretty rocky. Mr. I's birth dad called at 7:30 am to wish him a happy birthday. Because Birth Dad needed to get to work, I woke Mr. I up to talk to him. I had hoped to let Mr. I sleep in because with kids from trauma backgrounds, birthdays and holidays are rough. And today was no exception. Mr. I was pretty out of it all day but it got even worse when Ms. D woke up late stating she was sick. Of course, she wasn't sick, just didn't feel good inside because it was her brother's birthday. I knew she was fine when she was able to walk 1 2/3 mile at a quick pace as we walked the neighbor dogs. So during the day they took turns showing signs of distress.

For dinner we were able to get the whole family at the same time at the local Chinese restaurant. We not only needed the big table, but two smaller tables as well. The kids did pretty well! Mr. I was a bit shy when a priest who was at the next table asked to give him a blessing for his birthday. We all came back home for some ice cream and cake and Mr. I opened his presents. We tried to not go overboard this year on gifts because he had been getting kind of materialistic lately, especially wanting to collect hats and shoes. He noticed, but he needs to learn that people and experiences with others are more important than having more stuff. It's a lesson that is hard for many Americans, and especially for kids that are struggling with RAD. It's so hard to balance these kids' desire to be the focus of attention and their need for routine and peace. Birthdays and holidays can be full of meltdowns and dysregulation whether it's their birthday or someone else's. Parties have been pretty rocky in the past. But Mr. I made it through better than other times. He finally fell asleep pretty happy with how the day went, though it did take a while. And I am breathing a sigh of relief that we managed to get through another birthday relatively unscathed.

Now we have more birthday celebrations and Christmas is coming. We have birthdays every few days this month and it sometimes takes a week to recover from each one. I've noticed I've had a lot more migraines the past couple of weeks. I get them with stress, so I guess I need to get to the point where I don't worry or hold my fears in until they come out in migraines, or stomach problems, or asthma. It's a good thing I'm making Christmas presents because the creativity and hand work relieve some of the stress. I need to keep up with the exercising and eating right too, which will be a challenge with all the busyness and celebrations. But most of all, I need to spend quiet time with God, to give Him my fears, burdens, and sins, because He can handle them much better than I can!

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