|Image from National Geographic|
The last few days have been pretty rough, physically, mentally, and spiritually. It's been really hard to hear God's still, small voice when I've been in such a funk. So last night Hubby prayed that God will speak to me in a dream. Now, sometimes speaking to me that way works because when I'm awake, my mind goes too fast, I have too many worries, and I push out the lessons and direction that God wants to give me. When I'm asleep, my defenses are down, so dreams can truly be a gift from Him. Now not every dream is God. Some are "pizza dreams", or "sick dreams", you know, dreams that make no sense but are because we ate too much rich food before bed or we are ill. I had first thought my dream last night was one of the silly ones, but now, after I've had time to read some things and sort things out, I'm beginning to think that there is more to it than I had thought.
In my dream, I was in my childhood home, and there was a mountain lion across the street. The next thing I knew was that while I was calling the authorities to get the lion, it had managed to get inside my house. So I began to try to round up that lion, chasing it throughout the house, trying to get it into an empty room so that someone could get it out of there. I finally cornered it into a bedroom, but when I was about to shut the door, I noticed that my daughter, Ms. D was asleep there. So armed with a kitchen towel, I moved between the lion and my daughter, woke her up and got her out of that room. Well, the lion followed us out into the hallway, and I tried to wave the towel to distract him. He was a bit annoyed, really for the first time showing any aggression, and scratched at the towel, but then I noticed the lion had a collar on. I grabbed the collar and we both calmly walked down the hallway. Then I woke up.
I didn't think much of the dream until later. First I read this blog, Columbian Brewed, Who Put THAT There?, written by another adoptive mom. I won't go into much about her post, since it would take time to develop the thought, but it revealed some things in my heart that need to be changed and adjusted.
I am seeing that the mountain lion dream really does have some meaning. I think the mountain lion represents God, just as the lion represented Jesus in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis. The lion, or God comes into my life, my whole life, represented by my childhood home. He goes all over the house, my life, going in every room whether I like it or not. He goes into Ms. D's room, but I tried to get him out of there, because I want to keep her safe. Is God trying to do something in Ms. D's life, but I'm doing things to keep Him away? Maybe. I'll have to pray about that. She doesn't know Him yet, though she is close. And finally, I grabbed the collar. At first I thought I was leading the lion, but now as I think about it, he was leading me!
I tend to have preconceived notions of how my life will work out. I want things my way, when I want them. But God is showing me that His way is the best. It may seem a little wild. It might be a little different than I had planned. It might not be in the same timing I'd prefer. But I can't be a control freak. He will work things out better than I could ever imagine. He loves me, my family, and every person here on earth. He wants to work in our lives. I need to be sensitive to Him and not hinder the process. And when it seems He is quiet, it might mean that I'm insisting on my own way, not His.
So as I've been writing this, my neighbor girl came here for some help with her homework. She was obviously sick, shivering and feverish. Instead of my first instinct to have her go straight back home, I asked God what I should do, and felt that I should help her. And after the ten minutes it took to help her, I prayed for her. May God heal her body, show her she is loved, and bring her to Himself.
Now bring out the Lysol!