Friday, December 30, 2011

When Mommy Isn't Feeling Well

I was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea, dizziness, vision weirdness, and just plain feeling yucky this afternoon. It isn't pleasant. But do you know the worst part of being sick? It's having a child who can't handle a sick mom. Kids who have gone through trauma and neglect feel the pain of a parent who isn't all there so much more deeply. I know it's only a short illness that will probably be over in a day or so. To him, at least in the deepest part of his brain, I might be gone forever. Poor kid's crying and I feel too yucky to feed him and take care of him. He wants me to make him something special to eat, but my stomach turns at the thought of food. There is a refrigerator full of leftovers, a dad and two older sisters who have offered to make something for him, but it isn't the same. He needs a mom to take care of him, and it scares him to the core that I'm not able to do that right now. And I just don't know how I can make it better.

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