Last night we had church at our house. We belong to a gathering of house churches and our particular church meets at a different house each week. I spent the day cleaning and getting ready for people to come. It was good to get things cleaner, but I still have a way to go. Thankfully, my oldest son and his wife and some of the other kids have been helping me lately. I don't know what I would do without them!
Of course, by the time people came, I was exhausted. I was also still grieving because of Ms. D's coming diagnosis. During our church we have time to share what God has done the past week in our lives and have prayer requests. I would normally be able to tell of how the psychologist hinted that Ms. D has a low IQ. I am both happy to have a reason for her behaviors and learning difficulties, but am grieving because of how this will impact her life. But Ms. D was here, and so I couldn't say anything. Hypervigilance has been one of the last things to heal in my kids and they don't miss a thing! It was hard for me to be a bit sad and distracted yet not be able to say why. But it was so good that Hubby got prayer for his surgery next Thursday.
People stayed awhile afterward. I served up some stew in the crock pot that wasn't done before people came, but was perfect after the main teaching and worship time. I was so happy that people stayed, but I know I was out of it and wasn't a very good conversationalist. I could have fallen asleep sitting up, and I think I did!
Some things can be good and difficult at the same time. I'm glad Ms. D is getting evaluated, yet there are difficulties that come along with it. Hubby's surgery will be difficult and long, but he will probably feel so much better after he heals. It was good to get the house clean and have people over last night, but it took a lot of work and I got tired. With labor comes a baby. With studying comes a degree. With hard work in the garden there comes good fruit. There are so many things in life that are difficult, and sometimes we don't get to reap what we expect. But when we are rewarded, doesn't it mean so much more to us?
So when I am tempted to become discouraged, weary, and ready to give up, I need to remember that there isn't much good in this life that comes without some kind of sacrifice. Even the grace that God gives us is there because of His sacrifice. Looking for the good in situations, the reward, and even God's perspective helps me to keep going.