I really need to relax!
This morning I tried to do the dishes and bills while cooking and eating my breakfast. Then Mr. I wanted help with his math, which I didn't have time to do. But when a kid who normally tries to get out of work wants to do schoolwork, you go with it. However, this time I was flitting between the previous tasks, helping Hubby get up, taking care of Ms. D who was complaining of a sore throat, and getting ready myself, so that we could get out the door by 8:30. Birthmom had asked me to take her to her new house to sign papers and the kids wanted to go too. Maybe that's why Mr. I wanted help with his schoolwork. He probably was feeling anxious and wanted attention. The kids have been pretty emotional lately and it didn't help to have a distracted mom. So we got Birthmom to her appointment in time and waited for other family members to get there so that we knew she had a ride home. Then, when I walked in the door at 10:30, one of my daughters told me that someone was coming over to pick up a car, the house was a mess, dishes still needed to be done, the kids were hungry and needed to do schoolwork, and I had so much else to do. I felt pulled in so many directions.
After finishing the schoolwork and a few chores, I am forcing myself to slow down a little. Yes, it would be nice to finish the laundry, clean the house, and work on the yard, but a harried mom isn't pleasant. The kids and I are all hyped up from the week's events, and I need to lead the family in practicing a peaceful lifestyle. Yes, we can work, but work from an inner peace rather than to try to work while anxious. So instead of jumping up to help Ms. D to walk the dogs, I asked her to wait a few minutes until I finish. When I get anxious, the family demands more of my attention, and I drop whatever I'm doing to help them. This makes me more anxious, and the family becomes more anxious and make more demands, or messes, or meltdowns which increase my anxiety level... See the cycle?
So I am slowing down. I am taking a deep breath. I am enjoying my life, my family, and what God has given me. Most of these things will be here tomorrow and aren't really urgent. I need to prioritize. I need to seek God in what I am to do, not blindly run from one urgency to another.
I need to take a deep breath.