Yesterday started out great. Our microwave oven was delivered. I was able to go with Hubby to a conference that was really encouraging. Microbio Daughter watched the kids for us which gave me a good respite time. (For those of you who have kids from hard places, you understand how needed it is to have a break from 24-7 therapeutic parenting.) I was a bit tired from weeks of not quite enough good sleep due to Hubby's tossing and getting up in the middle of the night because of pain, but felt happy and contented.
But when I came home, the kids were dysregulated because we were gone all day. Our neighborhood was also swarmed with the bomb squad, police, and fire trucks because of a package in the mail truck. Was it a chemical bomb? Fireworks? Who knows. The rumors varied wildly. But even more so, our kids' minds were going even more wildly. We also had an armed robbery of a neighborhood bank Thursday, which was also discussed in the neighborhood, so the kids were not feeling safe. Take a couple of kids with traumatic backgrounds, add the parents gone for the day, add the excitement of the emergency vehicles, add Hubby going to a different church in the evening to see a pastor from Juarez, Mexico, add the wrong time of month for Ms. D, and the result is two kids who were pretty out of it. I had also found out that a meeting Monday to discuss what to do with kids during church gatherings is the same evening that I have to help lead a homeschool meeting. What makes it upsetting is that I know my own kids' behavior at meetings is part of the problem and it would have been really good for me to be there. Any other Monday in the month would work for me. I felt like I had no voice, that people didn't listen, and that was getting me down.
So anyway, I decided to take the two dysregulated kids to church. They didn't want to go. When they got there, Mr. I holed up in the corner, used my phone and glared at me the whole time. Ms. D was draped all over me, telling me every now and then that her stomach hurt and that she wanted to go home. It's hard to take them anywhere when they are moody like that, and it was even harder without Hubby around to help. And then, after listening to someone complain about something and worrying about the kids' behavior, I started to get a migraine.
My glass was half empty.
I needed it to get half full.
So how do I change a half empty glass to a half full one? I need to think of the blessings. I need to be thankful for what I have, not be resentful because of what I don't have. I need to have hope that God is in control and things will get better.
So here are a few of the things I'm thankful for this morning:
I'm thankful for my family. They are so awesome, and have done so much for each other and me.
I'm thankful for my new stove and microwave. I don't have to worry about kitchen fires or explosions.
I'm thankful that the bomb threat wasn't serious and for the emergency personnel who keep us safe.
I'm thankful for heat, water, and electricity that work almost constantly.
I'm thankful for being able to homeschool and worship in freedom.
I'm thankful for friends and neighbors who have supported me and have shown kindness.
I'm thankful for transportation, cars that run, and when they don't we can have them repaired.
I'm thankful for more than enough food.
I'm thankful for medical help for our family.
I'm thankful that Hubby has such an awesome job that he enjoys and that pays the bills.
I'm thankful for the freedom to write and say things on this blog.
I'm thankful that God is in control, for His love, and for His provision.
Ah...I'm feeling better already!