I am realizing how much detective work I need to do with the younger kids. One doesn't express her feelings or can really describe problems in a helpful way. Yesterday she was angry at a friend. I asked her what happened and why wasn't she speaking to her. She either couldn't, or wouldn't. That's what makes it hard, since my response and what I say to her depends on the information I can glean. Is this a time to teach about how to treat others kindly, or was her friend doing something wrong and should have been avoided? Did Ms. D misinterpret nonverbal communication, blow things out of proportion, or is she making a good judgement? Was she mimicking a sassy TV program, spacing out, or not communicating well herself? Or was she keeping herself out of trouble? Sometimes I really don't know. One of Ms. D's friends had once texted some inappropriate things to a boy. Ms. D wouldn't talk to the girl for awhile. When I asked why hadn't her friend come to our house for a few days, Ms. D only said she was mad at the girl. I found out through someone else what the real problem was. Situations like these make it really hard to discern what is the real issue.
With Mr. I, the detective work today has been in the area of his health. He has strep throat, which he hid from me while he was wanting to play yesterday. Then, in the evening, his throat hurt horribly. This afternoon he was feeling better so I let him go outside in the warm sun. He walked backwards and fell, hitting his head on the sidewalk. I had to use a lot of detective work to figure out how badly he was hurt, since a small injury can seem to him to be the worst injury ever, while a bad injury is ignored. His tolerance to pain has almost no correlation to the seriousness of the injury, but is more dependent on who he is with, what is his mood, and whether he is stressed about something else or not. He'll complain about a scratch for hours and days, yet has tried to hide a cut that needed stitches.
I guess all of this makes me more dependent on God. Because only God knows what is going on with my kids sometimes.