Sunday, February 19, 2012

Grieving Anger and Thankfulness...At the Same Time

Anger:

Right now I'm pretty angry at the school system for missing Ms. D's MR. I mean, how can someone trained in education and special ed. either ignore or be so completely clueless about the problems she was having in school? The teacher saw it. But she was cowed, just like I was, to work with Ms. D in the classroom and not bother to test her until she was one to two years behind. It just costs too much to do the testing. I had been telling her teachers for years that she had FAS. Her first grade teacher, who told me she had worked in special ed before, said that Ms. D couldn't be MR because she wasn't consistent in her gaps. Well, that's the nature of FASD. The damage to the brain is influenced by the amount, frequency, time of pregnancy, and other factors like hereditary, smoking, and health of the mother. Different parts of the brain develop at different parts of the pregnancy. That's why Ms. D has such a wide range in her IQ! Duh! I am so upset right now that I have half a mind to go to the school and tell them a thing or two! Of course, school is out for a week for winter break. Which is probably a good thing. I'm grieving, and I'm not really thinking straight. I want people to be aware of the damage of alcohol on a baby, but I don't want to unleash the momma bear on unsuspecting people.

Thankfulness:

I just read a blog that was wise and encouraging. Greg Lucas talked about seven helpful insights that helped him and his family who have someone who is disabled. While I don't agree with everything the man said, and I'll let you figure what I disagree with, he has such good counsel and encouragement for me right now. One of the things he was talking about was the effect of having a child with a disability on the siblings. And I agree whole heartedly! I see the compassion that my older kids have which is so unusual for young adults in our community. I don't always catch everything they do. But I have glimpses here and there. I see how they respond to my younger ones, I see them slip some money to a missionary, I see them treat the elderly with respect and children with kindness and love. I see them make choices in their careers, in their finances, in their time, and in everyday choices to put others in front of themselves. I see God working through them in such a quiet, humble way. I am so thankful!

I'm grieving, but at the same time I'm seeing God's hand in all of this. I hurt. But I am comforted. I know God will work all this to His Glory and I will be blessed.

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