Thursday, March 15, 2012

Getting Better

Thank you, God, for the things you sometimes give us and sometimes you don't give us, but we still like you anyway.

This quote is from an awesome little guy, Owen, who I think is about four years old. Of course, sometimes it takes a child to show us the obvious. We don't always get what we want, but we need to be thankful for everything we do get, and not get all mad at God when things don't seem to go our way. It's so simple, but how many times do I fall short? 

Part of my anger yesterday was the apparent cluelessness of yet another expert who minimizes the effect of alcohol on a developing brain. Part of me was acting like a mama bear, wanting the best for my kids. But when I really searched my heart, I realized that part of my anger was how inadequate I feel to raise these kids. So the guy's nonverbal and verbal responses felt like an attack on me and my ability to teach my kids and make educational decisions for them, rather than his enthusiasm for his job. And when he asked me if I prayed for my kids, I was angry that he would even ask that question, like we have neglected our children by not praying for them. But if I am truthful, I must say that I have also been a bit angry that God hasn't healed the kids as much as I would like. Yes, I get angry at God sometimes. 

So to put my mind on the good things, and not become bitter, I am going to list a few things I'm thankful for tonight.

1. Wonderful friends who scrape me off the floor of discouragement and hurt and help me to get back on my feet.

2. Hubby and I got to spend some time this evening with Photographer Son and his sweet wife and silly kitty. They also fed us some homemade pho. Yummy! I am thankful for another date night with Hubby. I am so thankful that my older kids are all doing well and love God. 

3. The freedom to homeschool my kids. Though it's been hard, they are learning at their own pace. They even worked a little on their online schoolwork while I was gone this evening without me asking them to do it. 

4. This afternoon I got to finish a book, The Hunger Games, and it only took me a couple days. We are passing it around among the adults in the family. I love to be able to read and I'm realizing that I can read more now without the kids acting up. This is a *big* accomplishment in our family. 

5. The younger kids still have issues, like Mr. I is still awake at 11 p.m. and can't fall asleep, but they have overcome so much. They are really compassionate and tender.

6. I have all that I need. God has provided time after time, and sometimes I hardly notice. 

7. I have a loving husband and family. That's better than any material possession! 

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