Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Do I *Have* To?

I'm such a mean mom!

My kids have the coolest opportunity to have ten lessons on horses and riding starting next week. They will learn about horses, how to take care of them, and even get to ride on the final three lessons. Today was the intro meeting. If you saw them there, you'd think I was taking them to be tortured. Actually, if you saw them earlier today, you'd think the same. They kept asking me if they had to go to the horse classes. I kept saying yes. They had to go. Even the woman from the intro meeting noticed their behavior and asked me if they wanted to do this. I told her that they do this with everything new. It's sad, but true. They would have a fit about going to Disneyland! It's interesting how stressed out kids from hard places become when they are anticipating a change of routine, even if it's something fun. Maybe especially if it is something fun. RAD can be so confusing!  When we first got the kids, Ms. D would scream every time we went to a happy place, the store, a park, or even an amusement park. Because she'd scream that I'm not her mommy, I kept some foster paperwork with me at all times. I was worried someone would call the police, though no one ever did. I've learned to try to keep things routine, because they just can't handle changes very well.

Mr. I has been having a difficult time with change lately. Spring break was difficult. In anticipation of this class, he fussed much of the morning. By lunch time, he didn't want to be near me and I was in tears. Fortunately I was able to pull it together while he played outside. On the way home from the meeting he started to rage, but I told him to control himself because the rain made it hard to drive. He said he couldn't, but he did! He calmed himself, asked to see a therapist because he "had anger management", and wanted to know if Hubby or I can go to the class with them. Later he asked to watch a movie with me next to him and Hubby joined us. By bedtime, he was attached to Hubby and me. What a difference from this morning!

So this is one of those times that I'm having to make the kids do something they don't want to do. It's not fun for any of us, but I know they'll like it once they get used to it. The classes will be at a regular time for a month, so hopefully they'll see it as routine. Mr. I loves horses and Ms. D loves animals. It will really be good for them, no matter what they say now. So I'm being a mean mom and making them go. Yes, they have to go!

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