Friday, June 22, 2012

Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

I just had to include in the picture the blackberries I picked this morning!
Today I did something I haven't done for months, maybe years. I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And I liked it! I didn't even use my home made blackberry jam. I used store bought strawberry. And I still liked it!

Why the excitement? Well, growing up our family didn't have a lot of money, especially after my dad went blind. I know what it's like to come home hungry from school and having only mustard in the refrigerator and spices in the cabinet. We ate a lot of oatmeal for breakfast and peanut butter for lunch during that season of my life. I got tired of oatmeal and peanut butter. Really tired of it! Eating oatmeal or peanut butter also brought back the anxiety of not having enough, even as an adult. I didn't mind the taste after awhile, but it still wasn't enjoyable psychologically. It brought back so many difficult memories. So I didn't eat either of them, even though I bought them for my family. 

So today, as Hubby was making a PB&J sandwich for lunch, I decided to try to see if eating peanut butter would bring up the feelings it did earlier. It didn't! Maybe after all these years I'm starting to heal. I'll have to try oatmeal soon!

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