Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Two More Days!

Two more days and Hubby will return home!

Hopefully the Mr. I and Ms. D will be out of their funk and things can run more smoothly. It's really hard for kids who need structure, routine, and safety when their daddy is off in another country. Even though they say it doesn't bother them, the kids have been pretty dysregulated. Microbio Daughter and I were just talking to Mr. I. He asked me what would I say to Hubby if he asked how he did. I told Mr. I that I'd probably say that he had a bit of a hard time with Dad being gone. Of course he said that it didn't bother him at all and he wasn't afraid. He knows his dad will come back. Right. Fortunately, Microbio Daughter said that she feels a little off when Dad is gone and she worries about him a little bit. So that started a conversation. Hopefully Mr. I will not feel so defensive and be able to express his uneasiness. But if not, at least he got to hear that others have a hard time too. And maybe by hearing it spoken, the fears that are deep down will be able to be calmed.

Ms. D has been really sluggish the past week. We gave her a bit of a break this weekend so that she would not feel so tied down to the puppy. She was getting pretty annoyed with him, which isn't the best way to train a dog. So we let her spend the night at a friend's house and have some time away from the puppy. I know she's only fourteen and her mental and emotional age are less, but this experience has shown me to be aware of her limits later in life. She's great for awhile, but when she hits a wall, she really hits it, and can't function even at a minimal level. So if she has a family, I might have to give her times of respite and more help than the average person in stressful times. I think it will be important to plan ahead for that.

In the meantime, I'm trying to keep things pretty routine. Schedules help the kids to cope with their emotions. It's just one less thing for them to worry about when they know exactly what will happen next. We even do the schoolwork in the same order. If I try to change it, the kids freak out. So any adjustments will have to be made after this week. Of course, life happens, there were weekends and Labor Day. Today I took the van in to be fixed. It cost $200 to fix the broken window raiser, but even worse was the time it took me from the kids. Tomorrow we pick up a neighbor boy from school.  It is almost impossible to schedule a routine around things like that. But as much as possible, the kids do the same things every day at nearly the same time. It calms their souls.

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