Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Decisions, Decisions

Today I went to vote. Not only did I have to make decisions about electing people from the president to the school board, but propositions too. I spent time researching each, trying to make the best decision I could. I might have voted wrong in some people's eyes, but I did my best.

We have decisions with the birth father too. According to Hubby, the visit went well the other day. There were lots of hugs and tears. It was a time for Hubby, the kids, the birth dad, and other family members to get to know each other a little better. The kids were emotional when they came home, and there were some rough patches the past two days, but it wasn't as bad as I feared.

So now we need to make some decisions. How much contact should we allow with the kids during the month he is in our city? Where do we meet? The aunt's house worked well, but do we bring the birth dad in our house?

There are concerns. Birth Dad has a history of domestic and other violence, drug and alcohol abuse, and arrests. He's run from the law, and has taken a couple of his kids out of the state illegally. Has he changed? It's been ten years. This is the first time we've met him in person, so we don't know. He doesn't seem able to admit to his part in losing the kids, and puts the blame on the kids' mom for not telling him what happened. However, we do remember that his lawyer was in contact with the courts before he lost parental rights. Does he not remember? Didn't he understand? Does he realize his part in losing the kids, or does he just not want to admit it in front of them? We don't know. Since some in our home have concerns for their safety, at this point we won't invite him here.

So just like when casting our ballot, we gather as much information as we can. Hubby chatted with an old social worker who understood the case. We let others know where we are visiting and take precautions. We listen and observe the interactions between the kids and birth parents. We make mistakes, and might make decisions that others don't like, but we try to do as best we can.

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