I found out through Ms. D yesterday why the birth mom doesn't want anything to do with the kids anymore. Birth Dad told Ms. D that Birth Mom thinks we are too nosy and ask too many questions. It kind of confirms what I thought, that the birth family on the mom's side is up to no good right now. Birth Dad understands that we just want to protect the kids, and told Ms. D that he thinks that we are right to keep her safe. Ms. D seems to understand it too, which is a relief. Ms. D is already having to deal with yet another rejection from her "blood", and I don't want her to resent that we are also trying to keep things safe for her. But she seems more at peace with how things are going. It probably helps that Birth Dad is on our side in this instance.
Now I must admit I am a bit nosy. I grew up in the Midwest where everyone knows everyone else and what they are up to. Neighbors talked to neighbors, and we kids, when we did something wrong, got yelled at by the neighbor ladies and then got it again when we got home. It was really hard to misbehave! We didn't ever lock our houses, since there was always someone looking out to make sure our neighborhood was safe.
It's a little different here in California. I'm one of the few neighbors who knows just about everyone on our street. Since I am home a lot, most of the neighbors nearby ask for us to keep an eye on things when they are gone. But, I must admit I take it a little to far sometimes. The other day, I saw the neighbors talking to someone I had never seen before. This is the conversation Ms. D and I had, looking out the window:
Me: Who's that old guy with the beard talking to the neighbors?
Ms. D: It's business.
Me: What kind of business?
Ms. D: None of yours.
I thought is was so great that Ms. D said it with a smile and laughed. It isn't often that she jokes around. I had to admit it really wasn't my business, since the neighbors were right there. But in a way, I think it was good for Ms. D to see that I'm keeping an eye out for trouble and that others may be too! If it wasn't for the neighbors, I wouldn't have found out as soon as I did when Ms. D first met the birth family and made plans to run away. However, one of them didn't tell me because she thought it wasn't her business. I was so angry! I hope the neighbor ladies in the neighborhood will look after my kids like the ladies did for me when I was growing up. Being a little nosy might be annoying, but it can save a lot of problems.
I just have to learn to do it in a way that isn't so obvious!