Hubby plans to take the kids to visit their birth dad at a relative's house in a couple of hours. They haven't seen him in about ten years. It's a bit scary for me, on many levels. The kids always have had a hard time after seeing a new birth family member, no matter how well the visit went. I'm still not feeling well, and so I'm wondering if I'll have enough energy to help them through the next week. There are some other things I'm worried about. Mr. I is fussing about having one of the birth brothers there so he doesn't get bored. The birth brother will probably be there anyway, but we feel like it would go better if Mr. I isn't distracted. But the biggest thing that scares me is that the birth dad has a history of violence, arrests, and and taking kids to other states to avoid the law. People change, and it has been quite awhile, but we can't be certain we will all be safe. We haven't had problems yet with the birth family and are taking precautions to protect the kids. We don't really have a choice in how much contact we have with the birth family. That choice was made for us when Ms. D first came in contact a year and a half ago. The kids are older and have a connection with the birth family, so we need to walk a fine line between protection and connection. It's not an easy line to walk on. I hope we do it well.