Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Keep 'Em Alive 'Til 25

Today I walked to the pet store with Hubby to get some worms for our bearded dragon. The day was beautiful, and our walk gave us a chance to talk without certain ears listening in. I talked about how the day went well, despite Mr. I's dysregulation. He really tried to push my buttons by trying to order me around, asking for food and then saying he wasn't hungry, and accusing me of not making school fun for him. But not matter how much he tried to make everyone around him feel as miserable as he felt, I didn't get drawn into it this time. Many times he's able to get some sort of negative response, but not today. I started the day listening to worship music. I'm over being mad at God for going through the trials the past few years. At least I hope I'm over it. I have a little better perspective of things now, and decided I was hurting myself by pushing God away. Hey! That's just what my kids do!

While Hubby and I were walking, I also told him how I was doing some research on FASD and teenagers. One article I read was Teens With FASD: What Makes Them Tick by Teresa Kellerman. There was a lot of helpful information. It always is good to hear from people who have walked a similar path ahead of us. And she has walked that path with her son and with some foster kids. One of the things that I told Hubby about the article was the pruning in the brain that happens in the teenage years. This pruning is a natural part of development, and explains why it is harder to learn a new language after puberty. It is a natural thing, yet for people who already have less brain cells because of FASD, it could cause problems. It explains why there is more risk taking, behavioral difficulties, and other problems in our kids, some of which get worse when the kids hit adolescence.

Another thing that Ms. Kellerman said was that her son, and many with FASD, tend to mellow out in their mid-twenties, especially when they have support. When I said that, Hubby looked at the vultures soaring over the track...
Those little black dots are vultures.
...He first cracked a joke about the vultures looking for joggers. Then he said about Ms. D and Mr. I, "So what we need to do is keep them alive 'til they're twenty-five!"

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