This weekend was one of recovery.
My favorite nursing student took my stitches out. When the doctor figured out that the stitches should be taken out Saturday, when the clinic would be busy, he told me off the record that I could take them out myself. He didn't know that I was a former nursing student and had done it before. It really isn't that difficult. But I thought I'd rather give another nursing student a chance to practice on me. He did a great job!
I was recovering from a cold this weekend. I really think I had two colds back to back, so I was pretty sick Friday. I often get sick when things get stressful, and this week was one of the most stressful in awhile. The kids and I left the house for a couple of hours while the appraisal people came, but I pretty much stayed in the car. I skipped two memorial services and a homeschool event this weekend that I had planned to attend. Not much got done the past couple of days, but I was able to rest. I feel much better this evening.
I did go to church, though. Once a month our small churches get together near Santa Cruz. I almost didn't make the drive alone, but Hubby thought I needed it. While we ate, I was able to tell the story of the other night without the kids listening in. The singing afterwards softened my heart. My pastor talked about how God reveals Himself to people as they can understand, in ways they can understand, which encouraged me. I have been so discouraged that Ms. D doesn't have as deep of a relationship with God that I would want. I've felt like a failure in that area, yet that's my impatience and insecurity showing. I can't make her or anyone else become a Christian, so why do I feel like such a failure? God will reveal Himself to her. My job is to love her, pray for her, and listen to God's leading.
At the end of the gathering, there was a time to talk and encourage each other. I told the story of the police and Ms. D to another friend. She said something encouraging about God's protection on Ms. D that broke a dam of tears that I had been holding back for days. I had to leave the room, there were so many distractions, and went to another where I could cry and cry. I had been stuffing the emotions of that night because I was so busy and didn't want to break down when the kids were around. It was like I was running from all my fears, concern for the kids, and my feelings of inadequacy as a mother. After awhile my pastor came by and prayed for Ms. D and me. I was refreshed and encouraged. I needed to spend some time alone, to feel the emotions instead of stuffing them, and then get some prayer. I'm so glad that I went. It was a time of spiritual and emotional recovery.