Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Someone's Looking Out for Me (Or Not)

This week, in our Bible study for homeschool, we are going over Psalm 23.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...

Even though I walk though the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me...

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life...

It is a psalm that is familiar to most people, even those who don't read the Bible. It gives comfort to the grieving, and hope to those who are suffering. Its familiarity doesn't lessen the encouragement. It reassures me that God is alive and is my shepherd, leading and providing for me even when I don't see Him. The psalm draws me to its words when I am in my dark times.

Yet my youngest kids don't believe it.

It saddens me.

In our discussions, I've been trying to point out times that God has protected them. It has been more difficult than it seems.  One difficulty is that I see the good, they see the bad. I see the way Ms. D was healed of a bad infection after a cat bite. Mr. I said that if God was really looking out for her, He would have prevented it in the first place. And to top it all off, Ms. D had seizures. Why didn't He keep those from happening? They have had pretty good questions. How many of us ask similar ones. Yet I know that their view is clouded by their traumatic past. Is this world really a good place? Are they safe? Or is disaster waiting around every corner? Will they die if they leave their guard down for even a moment? Are they loved by others and by God?

I am searching for more examples of God's care for them. Some examples of God's care I don't feel would be appropriate, yet to me they are huge! Ms. D won't let me tell of how God sent the police to find her before the men breaking into cars that night she snuck out of the house. It's too embarrassing. I can't tell the kids how they were taken from an abusive and neglectful home, with drug addicted parents who were in gangs and were violent. They can't comprehend that their birth parents would do such things, especially after the birth parents denied doing anything wrong. I can't tell them how the birth family is still struggling with major problems, that we found out the mom has a hearing with drug court next week, that their siblings are involved with crime and gangs, and that God put Ms. D and Mr. I in a place where they have a chance at a better life. I see how they have been protected from all sorts of evil. They only see that they were taken from the people that were "unfairly" accused and deceived that should have been able to keep them. It is so apparent to me that they are especially loved and cared for by the One who made them. Oh, I wish I could say to them some of these obvious ways that God has protected and provided for them.

Instead, I am looking for the little things. I am pointing those out as I think of them. And maybe, just maybe, they will be able to see God's hand on their lives too.

1 comment:

  1. Some people who have read this think I am saying that God will always protect us from harm. Of course not! What I was trying to say was that my kids have been so traumatized, they believe deep down that they have to take care of themselves or they will die. Because they couldn't trust that their first caregivers would care for them, they don't believe I could either. They live in fear and close themselves to others. They believe that if there is a God, they can't come to him for comfort, healing, protection, or anything else. I'm just trying to find ways to let them know that even in their hard times, God is present.