Today was a day of contrasting moods, and I'm not talking about the kids!
A lot of great things happened today.
We got the tax refund three weeks before we needed it for the property taxes. Hubby said we are just shuffling money between taxing agencies. I'm glad we didn't have to borrow for any tax payments
The kids weren't too bad, though they did whine for awhile about having to take a vacation with the family in a few weeks. It's amazing how worked up they can get over a change of schedule that will happen far ahead of time. I didn't let the whines bother me a bit. Ms. D has to get out of the house sometime, even if she is a homebody!
I cleaned out the linen closet and found some long lost things hidden in the mess. I didn't realize I had so many umbrellas! I put sheet sets together into pillowcases so that they are easier to use. I got rid of some old children's sheets and other things we don't need, including a few of those umbrellas. It was so glad to get that closet organized. I don't think I touched parts of it since we moved here over thirteen years ago. Well, I know I didn't touch it because the box I thought had maps really had shower gifts and an unopened package of flannel sheets. I should have purged some of the things every year, not every decade! It's amazing what chores got pushed aside since we got the kids.
I had a great time watching Mr. I try to do some body building. There is nothing like a pubescent boy who is trying to get muscles like a full grown man!
Despite all these things, I am a bit weepy tonight. I realized that since I don't have to scrimp and save for the taxes, I can go to my spiritual director. I haven't gone in a few months. I was thinking of all things that have happened and that I'm processing lately so that we could discuss some of them. But just thinking of those things was pretty overwhelming, and I felt so worthless and insignificant. I hope I don't start crying when I'm with her like I was at the end of church Saturday when I asked for prayer. Sometimes I wish I could just get over the past, and not have to go through a long process of healing. But I may be too hard on myself. I don't expect my kids to "just get over it." They need help, time, understanding, and a touch from God. How can I expect myself to be any different?