Thursday, April 4, 2013

Attitude Adjustment

I need an attitude adjustment right about now. We are over half way through the spring vacation. We've had extra kids sleeping over here. My kids have gone to other's houses. Attitudes are slowly slipping as the kids run on less sleep, or at least shifted sleep schedules. Changes to schedules are difficult for Mr. I and Ms. D. This week, though it's been difficult, isn't as bad as past vacations. There was even one evening when the drama didn't come from our house, but from one of Ms. D's friends. But even a lower level of dysregulation wears on me. 

My attitude hasn't been as good as I'd like. Some things have been annoying me more than usual. Today one of our cars had to have a catalytic converter changed in order to pass the smog test. Those things are expensive! And even though our daughter offered to pay for the repair, I still feel bad, since she is paying for her college and has been working so hard to save money. We had to register all of our cars in one month. It bothered me to have to pay hundreds of dollars for just the registrations and smog tests. Oh, and then the property tax bill was due. Paperwork needed to be done and other bills were due. Ms. D finally found a library book the day the library sent a notice that we owe them for that lost book. The house needs to be cleaned and projects finished. Most of Hubby's fish died. And people I love have health issues, or someone in their family has major health issues. And I found out another one of the birth brothers was in jail a couple of months ago and Ms. D waited until this week to tell me. The news is worrisome and I watched a video on the Japanese tsunami. Some people keep posting the same annoying things on Facebook that cut down all others who don't agree with their opinions. Yes, I've been annoyed, and it bothers me when it leaks out, even when I try so hard to be cheerful and encouraging to others.

I'm not so depressed that I don't get out of bed in the morning. It's just harder to feel motivated to get some things done. I've put off some of the paperwork in order to spread it out, since that tends to get me down. I don't enjoy paperwork at all. But then it's in the back of my mind as another unfinished task. I set a timer to work on housework, which motivates me. I can do my most unpleasant tasks if I know I only have to work on them for ten minutes. I've been finishing some of the projects that have been hanging around for months or even years. It's amazing what a difference it makes to actually finish something we've started. I've been trying hard to not lash out on others, because I know that many of the things that are annoying me aren't really that big. Another day and these same things would be nothing. 

To really feel better, hard work isn't quite enough. I need to set my eyes on the good things. Maybe I need to ignore some of the things that are bothering me. The world won't end if I stop looking at people's posts on how awful Wall Street is, or if I don't look at the news until I feel better. Getting some of the unfinished projects done and other things organized is good if I look at the finished product, rather than on the unpleasant process of getting it done. Maybe I should listen to more uplifting music, or stop to enjoy the flowers on my walk. 

Most of all, I need to let God's love to come into my heart, heal me, and then let His love spread to those around me. 

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