Monday, April 15, 2013

What to do?

What am I to do?

There are so many decisions to be made.

Hubby and I trailed Ms. D this weekend. If she had to walk a dog, we would walk with her. She had an extra job of watching some dogs while the neighbors were on vacation, so we went there often. If she wanted to go to a friend's house, we called the parents to make sure she was there. Ms. D was on a short leash, and it was exhausting! How do we balance the need for socialization, yet keep her safe?

Ms. D is not able to make good decisions about safe interactions with people she meets. If there is any doubt, she hides from us. She lies. I can't trust her. It's interesting how she doesn't even whine that we don't trust her. Isn't that normal teen behavior?

I also have to make some decisions about our homeschool group next year. Interest in our group is dropping off, our family is planning on making changes, and I don't feel right exposing my kids to other homeschool kids. Yes, our group extends grace to kids with special needs, but my family's special needs are over the top. When other parents in our group are dealing with things like autism or learning disabilities, I also have to deal with behavior problems. If the behavior problems were just things like meltdowns, it would be fine. But do I really want to expose their kids to the behaviors that Ms. D is exhibiting lately? There is a big difference between discussing courtship vs. dating, and discussing the fear that your girl will fall into drugs and sexual exploitation. Maybe it will be better to get my support from Help One Child or similar groups that won't shy away from the messiness of our lives. I certainly don't feel comfortable to lead a Christian homeschool group anymore.

There are many other decisions, but these are the top ones. I'm in a messy part of life. It's a good thing God isn't surprised by the messiness! I need His wisdom!

1 comment:

  1. I almost had a heart attack reading this. Why? Well, this is why. #1 you are more qualified to run a HS group than most. The variety of "challenges" you have had, the obstacles you have overcome, amazing! I am honored to be your friend and to walk along side of you. #2 Homeschool kids are not immune to the problems you are facing. #3 I LOVE YOU! :-D That group has been dissolving for some time and it certainly did NOT start with your Mess. You took on a group that was already messy and you did an amazing job! God gave you these two children because you are the perfect parents for them. NOT perfect, but perfect for them. And you are the perfect friend for me. I can't even tell you how much I've learned from you. Even being 2600 miles away. I constantly think WWJD and WWLD. And I take many deep breaths because I hear your sweet encouraging voice in my ear saying, kelly, calm down or whatever your wonderful advice is during that moment. You are my Titus 2 Woman

    Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.