Yesterday we had a scare with Ms. D. We caught her in a lie, which isn't unexpected. My kids have often lied, sometimes over the most insignificant things. But this lie concerned her relationship with the "seventeen year old boy who has a nice car, lives on his own, and doesn't go to high school," that Hubby and I have never met. Yes, he's the one we suspect is the real person Ms. D was waiting for that night she snuck out and got caught by the police, that peeked into neighbors' cars, and that Ms. D made out with on the side of the road. Ms. D is so afraid for us to know more about him or that she is somehow still in contact with him. I don't know how she thought we'd believe that she hasn't seen him since before Easter, yet he somehow was able to give her a necklace for her birthday the other day. I thought it was odd that she cleaned her room until after we went to bed the other night. Wow! This parenting a beautiful girl with FASD is pretty difficult!
The evening turned out well, though. Hubby took Ms. D with him late last night to pick up food to distribute to the needy. Ms. D, on her own, told Hubby that she was tired of hiding things from us and that she wanted to be more open. This is a big thing for her! Ms. D normally doesn't talk. She was trained from an early age to hold things in. We have been trying for years to get her to verbalize her feelings and to be able to process the difficulties in her life. Last night, she talked to Hubby about her disappointment that the birth family didn't call her on her birthday. Birth Dad did text her, but she heard nothing from her birth mom and older siblings. She and Hubby also talked about keeping her safe, boys, being open and honest with us, and other topics. If she continues to be able to express herself verbally, she may be able to heal some more. I hope that she will be able to open up and not hold everything in. And maybe she will let us meet the mystery boy.
If so, a scary situation can turn into a blessing.