Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Pain of Mothers Day

Mothers Day is tomorrow.

It could be a difficult day tomorrow for me...

...Not because I have struggled with infertility. I have friends who don't have children and Mothers Day is a painful reminder that they don't have what they have been longing for.

...Not because I have lost any children to death, like one high school friend who recently lost her second daughter. My heart breaks for her and others who won't be able to see their children until they meet them at the other side.

...Not because I live far away from my children, or have a child that is incarcerated, or have lost a child through adoption or a custody dispute. It must be so hard for women to not be able to be near their children, no matter what the circumstance.

...Not because I have a child that has written me off and doesn't want to see my face. That would be so painful to know my relationship to my children is so broken, they have given up on reconciliation.

No, tomorrow may be difficult because two of my children have another mother, one that their heart longs to be near, yet one that for whatever reason isn't in contact with them. Mothers day is not only a holiday that takes the attention off themselves, which would be difficult enough, but it is a reminder that they are not with their first mother, the one that gave them birth. Mothers Day is a day of pain, of heartache, of loss.

For that reason, I try to downplay Mothers Day. I'd much rather have a peaceful day, than one that triggers a meltdown or some other kind of acting out. So when Mr. I asked if he could go to a friend's grandma's house tomorrow, my friend thought it strange that he would want do that instead of doing something for me. I think she was surprised that he didn't have any plans with our family and it was like any other Sunday to him. I think it makes perfect sense, and might just allow me a bit of a rest. I'd rather not fight the Mothers day crowds anyway.

No comments:

Post a Comment