I admit it. I am pretty stressed right now. I have a cold sore and a migraine to prove it.
We were supposed to meet Xander this afternoon, which ended up not happening because he had "car trouble." I was worrying about the meeting, worrying about Ms. D's future, worrying about how I was to parent a child that could lie to me for months. I realized that there was no way I could keep a teenager safe that had it in her mind to do what she wanted, regardless of the implications of her decisions. Add to it the difficult behaviors of the kids lately and other minor things that added up, and I became ripe for a meltdown. I just couldn't hold it together with a smile any longer.
The migraine started yesterday. I took care of Grandson last night, which was fun and a good reprieve
from the bickering of the youngest two kids. It was then that I felt the first signs of a headache, eye weirdness, my brain felt foggy and I couldn't remember names of things, and one of my eyes dilated more than the other. I had hoped that a good night's sleep would stop it, but it was not to be.
Most of my migraines aren't that painful, but this one is. Hubby and I warned the kids this morning that I was hurting and to be nice. But during our dog walking when Hubby wasn't around, the kids wouldn't stop bickering, even after I told them that it made my headache worse. It went downhill from there. I took Ms. D for a ride in the car and yelled at her. It didn't do any good for our relationship and made me, well both of us, feel even worse. It's not going to stop her from lying. It won't change her behavior. I knew it, yet I carried on, cried, and carried on some more anyway.
Fortunately, Black Belt Daughter was home to talk to her later. Hubby also was good at smoothing things over. I think, I hope, I didn't mess things up too much between Ms. D and me. I retreated into my dark room, trying to recover. It's been a rough day, the headache is still here, but we all survived. Some days that's all I can do.