Someone asked me the other day, while I was in a puddle of tears, if I would bring Ms. D and Mr. I into our home if I knew how hard these days would be. Would I do it over if I could?
Of course! I love my kids!
It's not like I didn't know there would be difficulties. Although we didn't know the extent or the full impact of their background, we knew it would be a challenge when we signed up for foster care and adoption. We made decisions along the way, and those decisions were made in love. Ms. D and Mr. I are worth every tear and every sacrifice. They are incredible young people!
Oh, I sometimes think that I'd love to do it over and not make some of the mistakes in parenting. But who doesn't wish they could have made different decisions, knowing what the future would hold?
It bothers me that I didn't do everything perfectly. But I need to push those regrets aside, and give myself the grace I give to others. I've beaten myself enough lately, and it's getting annoying.
I saw this video yesterday of Tom Rinaldi and his daughter, who was born with Down Syndrome. Though I never felt like getting rid of my kids, the lessons this father learned are lessons that I am learning, lessons of love, joy, and what is perfection.
I am glad we have Ms. D and Mr. I in our family. It hasn't been easy, but it has been good. No, not just good. Loving them was, is, and will always be awesome!