Thursday, April 10, 2014

Difficult Times

Difficult behaviors, RAD, FASD, PTSD, anxiety, sensory overload, and all those other annoying things don't disappear with a change of place. Though removing the kids from their old stomping grounds has been beneficial in reducing triggers and temptations, their underlying difficulties are still there.

We have had a rough few days with Mr. I. There's been a slow buildup of stress from school. The expectations of the school are high, and though the teachers give Mr. I extra help, he is still struggling. The honeymoon period is waning at the same time. 

Monday was a beautiful day. Mr. I took advantage of the day to go skateboarding, so we ended up here:

Unfortunately, a Neo-Nazi guy with tats and a big knife at his side sat across from us in the emergency waiting room and glared at us. Mr. I was brave, and didn't run out of the building. But between the fear of being attacked and the pain of a sprained elbow, triggers were activated.

The following days have been hard. We've had regressions. We've had duct tape flushed down the toilet. We've had swearing in school and at home. I'm emotionally spent.

But! But!
Mr. I was able to gather himself together last night for a few hours and help with dinner. There is progress when the negative behaviors aren't constant.  There is progress when Mr. I is able to apologize after he calms down. Yes, he regressed this morning. But there is hope. 

Even if he still struggles with his emotions, Mr. I is a lot better off here with us. Like he said, his REAL parents wouldn't make him go to school or church. It's so hard to be a mean parent who forces their kids eat their vegetables and go places that will help them grow. It's a challenge to keep calm when your child does his best to wear you down. 

But when I feel overwhelmed, all I have to do is walk down the street and see this:

Then I remember that I am blessed. I can make it. There is hope.

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